Divorce Settlement Offer 101: How to Start, What to Include, and Why It Matters
Learn how to create a divorce settlement offer step-by-step. Understand financial disclosures, valuation basics, and what to do when assets are missing—all from a financial mediator with 20+ years of experience. Divorce Settlement Video
Introduction
If you're preparing for divorce, chances are you’re overwhelmed, confused, and just trying to figure out what comes first. At Divorce Allies, we help women like you take control of the process—starting with your settlement offer. This blog will walk you through the basics of what a settlement offer is, what goes into one, and how to use it as a powerful tool—whether you're representing yourself or working with a legal team.
What Is a Divorce Settlement Offer?
A settlement offer is a written proposal that outlines how you want to divide your property, debts, support, and parenting responsibilities. It can be informal or formal, but it becomes strategic when it's:
Supported by accurate financial data
Timed right (often before trial or mediation)
Written with clarity and evidence
This isn't about being aggressive. It's about being clear. A good offer can change the entire tone of your divorce.
Step 1: Start With Your Financial Disclosure
Most states require a financial disclosure when filing for divorce. This is where your settlement offer begins.
You’ll need:
A list of all assets: house, business, retirement, bank accounts
A list of all debts: credit cards, mortgages, personal loans
Income and expenses
Documentation to support everything (download your latest statements)
🛠 Pro Tip: Use your financial disclosure form to build your first version of the settlement offer. Don’t wait until the court or attorney asks for it.
Step 2: Know Your State Rules
Is your state a community property or equitable distribution state?
When is the date of separation used to value assets?
Do you qualify for spousal support?
Each of these answers can shift your entire strategy. For example, in some states, the date of separation can determine how assets are valued and split.
Step 3: Build Your Settlement Spreadsheet
Create a spreadsheet or use a proprietary tool (we offer one) to clearly organize:
Assets (and who keeps them)
Debts (and who’s responsible)
Income differences (for potential support)
Assumptions (such as business value or missing funds)
🔍 Example:
If you suspect your spouse moved or hid $500,000, that money can be placed in their column as “marital waste.” This changes the equalization payment required to make the split fair.
Step 4: Include All Scenarios (Best, Worst, and Most Likely)
Use your spreadsheet to model multiple outcomes:
What happens if the business is worth $150K? $1.5M?
What if they concede to the house but not the retirement?
The more you visualize, the more confident you’ll be in negotiation. This is chess—not checkers.
Step 5: Strategy for Missing Money or Marital Waste
If money has disappeared, don’t panic. Instead:
Document what you can prove
Place the assumed amount in your spouse’s column
Shift the burden back: “Here’s what we saw. You prove us wrong.”
⏳ Tip: People are more likely to settle if the legwork becomes their burden.
Step 6: Decide When to Present the Offer
Your offer can be:
Presented early (to frame negotiations)
Held in reserve (for mediation or trial)
Shared with your attorney or expert team for revisions
Having an offer on deck gives you leverage.
FAQs: Divorce Settlement Offers
What is a divorce settlement offer?
A divorce settlement offer is a written proposal that outlines how assets, debts, custody, and support should be divided. It can be created before court, during mediation, or after discovery.
What documents do I need to prepare a settlement offer?
You’ll need your financial disclosure, recent account statements, property titles, debt records, and ideally, a spreadsheet showing asset division.
What if my spouse is hiding money?
Include what you do know. Note missing funds as “marital waste” or “undisclosed assets.” Shift the burden of proof to your spouse. Use language like, “We noticed $500K in 2022 that is no longer present. Please provide records to explain where it went.”
Can I keep the house and still make the settlement fair?
Yes, if the house is offset by the other person keeping another asset (like a business or retirement account), or by paying an equalization payment over time.
What if I don’t know the business value yet?
Use an estimate range. For example: “Based on revenue, the business is likely worth $800K–$1.2M.” This gives you room to negotiate or seek a formal valuation later.
Do I have to file the offer with the court?
No. A settlement offer is not usually filed unless both parties agree. It is used in negotiations, mediation, or as part of a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU).
Ready to Build Your Settlement Offer?
Download our Settlement Offer Spreadsheet Template - after you Join the membership circle.
Join our Divorce Allies Circle for weekly strategy sessions
Need expert help? Work directly with Melissa Gragg at ValuationMediation.com
Final Thought
Negotiation in divorce is about clarity, timing, and truth. You don’t have to know everything. You just need to know enough to take the first step. Creating your settlement offer isn’t just paperwork—it’s your power move.
