Your Words, Your Power: Build a Divorce Position Statement to Anchor the Deal
In this video, Melissa Gragg—financial mediator and valuation expert—walks you through the most important tool you’ve likely never heard of: your DIVORCE POSITION STATEMENT. This one-to-two-page summary isn’t just paperwork—it’s your voice, your strategy, and your anchor in negotiations.
In this must-watch tutorial, Melissa breaks down:
What a divorce position statement is — and why it’s the first and most strategic move in any settlement process.
How to use voice memos + ChatGPT to document your story and convert it into a powerful legal and financial tool.
The step-by-step process of building your timeline, identifying the top 3 legal or financial issues, and drafting a calm, professional summary.
How this one document guides your lawyer, your mediator, and even the judge if needed—while saving you time, money, and emotional chaos.
Real talk on what to include, what not to say, and how to position yourself as the voice of reason in a high-conflict situation.
If you're trying to gain clarity, keep costs low, and take your power back in this process—this is the starting point. This is how you begin to “Anchor the Deal”.
Step 1: Journal Your Story
Goal: Capture key moments from marriage to now.
When did you get married?
When did you separate?
When did key financial events occur (buying/selling a home, inheritance, business start, job loss)?
Were there any infidelities or major breaches of trust?
ChatGPT Prompt:
"Summarize this journal into a divorce timeline with financial and legal milestones."
Join the Membership to gain access to the workshop where we guide you through the process to develop a divorce position statement and you can ask questions to the professionals every week.
In this workshop - you’ll learn how to:
Tell your full divorce story using a simple voice memo (no writing needed yet!)
Turn that raw, emotional narrative into a clear, fact-based timeline using ChatGPT
Identify your top 3 financial and legal issues
Create a calm, strategic summary that guides your attorney, mediator, and legal team
Lay the foundation for a powerful and well-supported settlement offer
This isn’t just a document—it’s your blueprint for leading the divorce process on your terms.
🎧 Want to go deeper? Join the Divorce Allies Circle for the full live workshop + checklist workbook.
🔗 Download the free Position Statement Starter Guide
📅 Join our live Circle session every Monday at 10AM CT
📲 Subscribe for new episodes that combine financial strategy, negotiation psychology, and healing support for women navigating divorce.
What Is Divorce Mediation and Why Should You Prepare?
Divorce mediation gives you a chance to avoid court and settle major issues—but only if you’re prepared. Many women walk into mediation hoping to "figure it out." That’s not a strategy.
A strategy includes:
A written settlement offer
Clear financial documentation
A plan to handle tough issues like business valuation, marital waste, or custody
If you’re dealing with a toxic ex or controlling spouse, preparation is your only protection.
How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation (Step-by-Step)
1. Create a Statement of Property
Start with a full list of:
Assets (bank accounts, home, business interests)
Debts (credit cards, mortgages, loans)
Retirement or investment accounts
💡 Ask your attorney: “Do we have an updated spreadsheet of our assets and debts?”
2. Identify Your Top 3 Conflict Areas
Ask yourself:
Is there a business that needs valuing?
Are there missing funds or financial abuse?
Is someone claiming separate property?
Are parenting arrangements up for dispute?
List out the 3 most important areas that must be addressed.
3. Draft Your One-Page Mediation Summary
“Divorce Position Statement”
This is the most powerful tool you can bring.
Include:
Your top 3 issues
Key facts (ex: $150K moved without consent)
Your ideal outcome and key offers
List of exhibits
Keep it factual, simple, and strategic. This is your leverage document.
Pro Tip: The Most Prepared Person Wins in Mediation
Don’t assume your attorney or the mediator will “handle it.”
You are the expert on your own life.
Use the mediator as a tool—not a savior. Give them facts, documents, and direction so they can communicate effectively with the other side.
✨ Your Divorce Power Move Starts With a Plan & Your Story
If you want to walk into mediation confident, calm, and in control, you need a plan—and the tools to build it.
Download the Guide: Power Moves in Divorce
Your DIY Guide to Creating a Strategic Divorce Settlement Offer
This guide includes:
A sample one-page mediation summary
A checklist for asset gathering
Tips to anchor the deal with your own valuation
Negotiation language to use during mediation
“Your Words, Your Power: Build a Divorce Position Statement to Anchor the Deal”
1. What is a divorce position statement and why is it important?
A divorce position statement is a one-to-two-page written summary of your marriage timeline, key issues, and financial facts. It provides a calm, fact-based narrative that helps your attorney, mediator, and even the judge understand your situation. It anchors your negotiation strategy and ensures your voice is central in the settlement process.
2. How do I start creating a divorce position statement?
Start by recording your full story using a voice memo—from the moment you met your spouse to the current challenges. Include dates, events, red flags, and financial details. Then, use ChatGPT to summarize your narrative, extract your top three legal or financial issues, and draft your initial statement.
4. Can I use AI tools like ChatGPT to help write my divorce statement?
Yes! ChatGPT can help summarize your voice memo into a clear, unemotional timeline, identify your top issues, and even generate an outline of your settlement position. You remain the expert of your story—AI simply helps organize it.
5. Should I write the divorce statement myself or ask my attorney to do it?
You should write it yourself. No one knows your story better than you. By preparing your own position statement, you save legal fees, maintain control of the narrative, and present yourself as a well-prepared, reasonable negotiator in mediation.
6. How does this position statement help in mediation or court?
This document gets your entire legal team aligned and helps the mediator quickly grasp your case. It builds trust, sets the tone for productive negotiation, and shows that you’re organized and strategic. It can also be updated over time to reflect new developments or evidence.
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Melissa Gragg is a seasoned financial mediator and business valuation expert with over 20 years of experience. She specializes in helping couples and business partners navigate complex financial disputes during divorce and separation. As the founder of Bridge Valuation Partners and a key member of The Divorce Allies, Melissa offers neutral, third-party services including business valuations, pension assessments, income analysis, and strategic settlement planning.
The Divorce Allies is a collaborative network of professionals dedicated to providing comprehensive support during the divorce process. Their team includes experts in financial mediation, high-conflict divorce coaching, mortgage planning, co-parenting education, and post-divorce transition. Together, they aim to empower individuals with the resources and guidance needed to achieve amicable and informed resolutions.
https://www.valuationmediation.com
https://www.thedivorceallies.com
Connect with Melissa:
Melissa Gragg
Expert testimony for financial and valuation issues
Bridge Valuation Partners, LLC
melissa@bridgevaluation.com
http://www.BridgeValuation.com
Cell: (314) 541-8163
Download Anchor the Deal – Your strategic guide to divorce settlement offers.
Learn how to take control of the negotiation process, prepare your financials, and make the first move with confidence. This guide gives you the tools, mindset, and templates to settle smart—whether you're working with a mediator, going to court, or doing it yourself.
Join the Circle: Live Workshop Monday @ 10AM CT
This video is your homework.
🌀 Join our private Divorce Allies Circle for the live session on Monday, where we’ll walk through real examples and help members refine their draft. Membership includes ongoing access to tools, templates, and expert sessions.
In this video, Melissa Gragg—financial mediator and valuation expert—walks you through the most important tool you’ve likely never heard of: your divorce position statement. This one-to-two-page summary isn’t just paperwork—it’s your voice, your strategy, and your anchor in negotiations.
Step 1: Journal Your Story Goal: Capture key moments from marriage to now. ChatGPT Prompt: "Summarize this journal into a divorce timeline with financial and legal milestones."
Join the Membership to gain access to the workshop where we guide you through the process to develop a divorce position statement and you can ask questions to the professionals every week. In this workshop - you’ll learn how to: Tell your full divorce story using a simple voice memo (no writing needed yet!) Turn that raw, emotional narrative into a clear, fact-based timeline using ChatGPT Identify your top 3 financial and legal issues Create a calm, strategic summary that guides your attorney, mediator, and legal team Lay the foundation for a powerful and well-supported settlement offer
This isn’t just a document—it’s your blueprint for leading the divorce process on your terms.
🎧 Want to go deeper? Join the Divorce Allies Circle for the full live workshop + checklist workbook. 🔗 Download the free Position Statement Starter Guide 📅 Join our live Circle session every Monday at 10AM CT 📲 Subscribe for new episodes that combine financial strategy, negotiation psychology, and healing support for women navigating divorce. “Your Words, Your Power: Build a Divorce Position Statement to Anchor the Deal”
